Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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