dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
