Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
