Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
