Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
