He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
