Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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