Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
