Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
