I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
