I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
