I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
