Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
