my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
