You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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