PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize