I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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