Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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