Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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