I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
