No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
