Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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