He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
