Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
