This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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