Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
