Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
