He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
