last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
