i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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