OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
