Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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