I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
