I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
