Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
