go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
