it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
