you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
