I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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