I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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