So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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