How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
