My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
