Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
