i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
