I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
