what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
