When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
