TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
