So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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