My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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