I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
not ubering you a puppy
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
